Would you rather questions for long distance couples
Good would you rather questions for long distance couples are about the distance itself: calls and time zones, visits and airports, missing each other, and how you'll close the gap. The 48 below work over text, voice notes or a video call, and each has a follow-up to keep the call going.
have one long call every night
text all day and skip calls
48 dilemmas, each with a follow-up · Updated November 12, 2026
Generic lists don't know you only see each other once a month. These are about calls that drop, airport goodbyes, hoodies that still smell like them and the big question of who moves. Play them on your next video call or send one a day by text. Every dilemma has a follow-up for when the call goes quiet.
- On a video call, count to three and say your pick at the same time so nobody copies.
- Over text, send one dilemma and don't reveal your pick until they've answered.
- Save the closing-the-distance round for a call with no time limit.
48 dilemmas
Would you rather: calls, texts and time zones
Your relationship mostly happens through a phone. These are about how you like it done.
Would you rather have one long call every night
or text all day and skip calls
Talk about itWhat time of day do you miss me most?
What it revealsWhether each of you feels closer through one deep talk or constant small contact.
Would you rather always be on video when we call
or always be on voice so we can walk around
Talk about itWhere do you like taking my calls?
What it revealsWhether each of you needs to see a face or just hear a voice to feel connected.
Would you rather fall asleep on a call every night
or get one perfect goodnight message
Talk about itWhat's the best goodnight message I've sent you?
What it revealsWhether each of you wants presence through the night or a few words that land.
Would you rather send each other one long letter a month
or send each other one postcard a week
Talk about itWhat would you write on the first one?
What it revealsWhether each of you values depth in one message or regular little reminders.
Would you rather have a shared photo album we both add to daily
or have a shared journal we both write in weekly
Talk about itWhat would you put in first?
What it revealsWhether each of you shares your life better in pictures or in words.
Would you rather know my whole schedule every day
or be surprised by what I'm up to
Talk about itWhat part of my day do you wish you could see?
What it revealsHow much each of you wants to know about the other's day, and how much mystery you like.
Would you rather have the call cut out at the best part
or have a call where we both run out of things to say
Talk about itWhat do we do when the call goes quiet?
What it revealsWhich call problem bothers each of you more: a bad connection or a quiet one.
Would you rather share a time zone but see each other less
or be six hours apart but visit more
Talk about itWhat's the hardest part of the time difference for us?
What it revealsWhether each of you finds daily contact or time in person harder to go without.
Would you rather: visits and airports
The best and worst days of a long distance relationship. Good to plan the next one around.
Would you rather always be the one who travels
or always be the one who hosts
Talk about itWhat's the best part of each?
What it revealsWhether each of you prefers the trip itself or making a place feel like home.
Would you rather be met at the airport with a sign
or be met at the door with dinner ready
Talk about itWhat do you want to do in the first hour?
What it revealsWhether each of you wants a big welcome or a quiet, cozy one.
Would you rather plan every minute of a visit
or plan nothing and stay in
Talk about itWhat's the one thing we always end up doing?
What it revealsWhether each of you fills a visit with plans or with just being together.
Would you rather drive eight hours to see me
or take two flights with a layover to see me
Talk about itWhat would you pack for the trip?
What it revealsHow each of you handles the hassle of travel, and what you'd put up with.
Would you rather visit my city and meet my friends
or have me visit yours and meet yours
Talk about itWho would you want me to meet first?
What it revealsWhether each of you wants to show off your world or step into the other's.
Would you rather see each other for one long month a year
or see each other one weekend every month
Talk about itWhat would we do with the time?
What it revealsWhether each of you copes better with long waits and long visits or short ones often.
Would you rather spend the last day of a visit on a big outing
or spend it slow with coffee and no plans
Talk about itHow do you like to say goodbye?
What it revealsWhether each of you deals with goodbyes by staying busy or slowing down.
Would you rather say goodbye at the curb in ten seconds
or walk all the way to security together
Talk about itWhat makes goodbyes easier for you?
What it revealsWhether each of you finds it easier to say goodbye quickly or slowly.
Would you rather: missing each other
Light questions about a heavy feeling. They make it easier to say what you actually miss.
Would you rather keep one of my hoodies
or keep one of my pillowcases
Talk about itWhat of mine do you wish you had right now?
What it revealsWhich kind of reminder of the other comforts each of you most.
Would you rather count down the days on a calendar
or never count and let the visit sneak up on you
Talk about itWhat helps the wait feel shorter?
What it revealsWhether each of you copes with the wait by counting it down or by not looking.
Would you rather get a long call after a bad day
or get a surprise delivery after a bad day
Talk about itWhat would you want delivered?
What it revealsWhether each of you is comforted more by talking or by a thoughtful surprise.
Would you rather hear my laugh whenever you want for a day
or smell my shampoo whenever you want for a day
Talk about itWhat small thing about me do you miss most?
What it revealsWhich small detail about the other each of you misses most.
Would you rather see couples holding hands everywhere you go
or hear love songs everywhere you go
Talk about itWhat makes you miss me most out of nowhere?
What it revealsWhat tends to set off missing the other for each of you.
Would you rather dream about me every night
or have one perfect dream about me once a month
Talk about itWhat's a dream you've had about us?
What it revealsWhether each of you wants constant closeness or rarer, more special moments.
Would you rather know every time I'm thinking about you
or have me know every time you think of me
Talk about itWhen did you last think of me today?
What it revealsWhether each of you is more comforted by being thought of or by being known to think.
Would you rather tell me every time you feel lonely
or handle it and tell me later
Talk about itWhat do you need from me when it hits?
What it revealsHow each of you prefers to handle lonely days: share them as they happen or later.
Would you rather: dates from two places
Ideas for your next date apart. If you both pick the same side, that's your next date.
Would you rather watch the same movie in sync
or cook the same recipe on video
Talk about itWhat would we pick first?
What it revealsWhether each of you enjoys watching together or doing something together.
Would you rather play an online game together every week
or read the same book and talk about it
Talk about itWhat's the game or the book?
What it revealsWhether each of you connects better through play or through conversation.
Would you rather get dressed up for a video dinner
or have a pajama video date with takeout
Talk about itWhat would you order?
What it revealsWhether each of you likes a date to feel special or easy and relaxed.
Would you rather send each other a surprise package every month
or put all that money toward one big trip
Talk about itWhat would go in the first box?
What it revealsWhether each of you would rather have small treats now or one big thing later.
Would you rather go for a walk at the same time on the phone
or stargaze at the same time on the phone
Talk about itWhat would you describe to me?
What it revealsWhich kind of shared moment feels closest to being together for each of you.
Would you rather have a weekly date night at a set time
or do surprise dates whenever we're both free
Talk about itWhat night works best for us?
What it revealsWhether each of you likes a fixed routine or spontaneous time together.
Would you rather order dinner to my door tonight
or have me order dinner to yours
Talk about itWhat would you order for me?
What it revealsWhether each of you enjoys looking after the other or being looked after.
Would you rather take an online class together
or keep a shared playlist and add one song a day
Talk about itWhat would your first song be?
What it revealsWhether each of you prefers a shared project or a small daily ritual.
Would you rather: closing the distance
The big round. Play it when you have a call with no time limit and nowhere to be.
Would you rather keep one long distance habit forever
or drop all of them once we're together
Talk about itWhich one should we keep?
What it revealsWhether each of you wants to keep something from this time or leave it behind.
Would you rather move to my city
or have me move to yours
Talk about itWhat would be hardest to leave?
What it revealsWhich of you feels more tied to where you live now, and why.
Would you rather both move somewhere new together
or have one of us move to the other's city
Talk about itWhere would we go if we started over?
What it revealsWhether each of you finds a fresh start or a familiar place more appealing.
Would you rather close the gap in six months with a hard move
or close it in two years with an easy one
Talk about itWhat would the hard move cost us?
What it revealsHow much hardship each of you would accept to be together sooner.
Would you rather know the exact date we'll close the gap
or keep it open and decide together later
Talk about itWhat do we need in place first?
What it revealsWhether each of you needs a firm plan or is comfortable leaving it open.
Would you rather move in together the day we close it
or live close but apart for a few months first
Talk about itWhat part of living together are you most curious about?
What it revealsHow fast each of you wants to go once the distance is gone.
Would you rather find out we argue more in person
or find out we talk less in person
Talk about itWhat do you think will change first?
What it revealsWhat each of you worries about most for when you're finally in one place.
Would you rather look back and say the distance made us stronger
or look back and say it was just something we got through
Talk about itWhat has the distance taught you about us?
What it revealsHow each of you sees the distance: as something that built you or something you survived.
Would you rather: flirting from far away
Warmer ones for late calls. All about wanting each other from a distance.
Would you rather hear the first thing I'll do when I see you
or be surprised when I do it
Talk about itWhat should it be?
What it revealsWhether each of you enjoys anticipation or the thrill of a surprise.
Would you rather wear something I pick for our next video call
or pick something for me to wear
Talk about itWhat would you choose?
What it revealsWhether each of you prefers being dressed up or doing the choosing.
Would you rather get a letter that smells like me
or get a playlist that sounds like us
Talk about itWhat would be on it?
What it revealsWhich sense makes each of you feel closest to the other from far away.
Would you rather spend the first night of a visit at dinner out
or spend it in and never leave
Talk about itWhat do you picture?
What it revealsWhether each of you wants a visit to start with a night out or alone together.
Would you rather get one bold text from me a day
or get one sweet text from me every hour
Talk about itWhat's the best text I've ever sent you?
What it revealsWhether each of you likes bold flirting now and then or sweetness all day.
Would you rather have a video call with the lights low
or have a phone call in the dark
Talk about itWhat makes a call feel close?
What it revealsWhat kind of closeness each of you finds most intimate on a call.
Would you rather get a voice note saying something I'd never type
or get a photo I'd never post
Talk about itWhat would you want to hear?
What it revealsWhether each of you responds more to words or to pictures.
Would you rather relive our last kiss goodbye
or skip ahead to our next kiss hello
Talk about itWhere will it happen?
What it revealsWhether each of you lingers on the last moment together or looks ahead to the next.
Questions people ask
How do you play would you rather on a long distance call?
Open this page on one phone or share your screen. One of you reads a dilemma, you both count to three and say your pick at the same time, then each explains in a sentence or two. Use the follow-up when an answer surprises you. Over text, send one dilemma and hold your own pick until they reply.
What is the 3-3-3 rule in dating?
It's used in a few different ways online, and none comes from research. One common version sets check-ins at three dates, three weeks and three months to ask whether things are working. For long distance couples, a similar idea helps: agree on a regular check-in about the distance itself. The closing-the-distance round on this page is a gentle way to start one.
Can we play this as a quiz?
Yes. Before your partner answers, write down what you think they'll pick. Score a point for every right guess, then switch. Ten dilemmas make a good round. The misses are the fun part: they show what you've learned about each other since you've been apart, and what you haven't.