Rather Together

How to play would you rather as a couple

To play would you rather, one person reads a question with two options, everyone picks one, and each player explains their choice. For couples, the best version has you both pick at the same time and then predict each other's answers, which turns a quick game into a real conversation.

always choose the show we watch

always choose your side of the bed

24 dilemmas, each with a follow-up · Updated November 12, 2026

Would you rather needs no cards and no app: one of you reads two options and you both pick. The rules below are written for two people, with six ways to change the game for date night, texting, video calls, a drinking round and a prediction game where you score points for knowing each other. Then 24 dilemmas to try them on.

After the game, keep talking with these questions to ask your partner, sorted by how deep you want to go.

  1. Decide who reads first. The reader rotates after every dilemma.
  2. The reader says "would you rather" and both options exactly as written, with no hints about which they like.
  3. Both of you pick silently, then count to three and say your pick at the same time, or point left or right.
  4. Each of you explains your pick in a sentence or two. The person who didn't read goes first.
  5. If an answer surprises either of you, ask the follow-up under the dilemma before moving on.
  6. Each player gets one pass per round, no reason needed.
  7. Stop after ten dilemmas, or sooner if one turns into a conversation worth having.

Six ways to play it as a couple

Predict your partner

For 2 players

  1. Before your partner picks, write down or say which side you think they'll choose.
  2. Your partner picks, then you reveal your guess.
  3. Score a point for every right guess, then swap roles.
  4. Keep score on paper or out loud. Play ten dilemmas each; the higher score chooses the next date, or dessert.
  5. A two-phone version, where you both pick in secret and reveal together, is coming in our app.

It turns the game into a test of how well you read each other, and the wrong guesses are usually the best conversations.

Date-night 20

For 2 players

  1. Open the 20-dilemma round on the date-night page.
  2. Play one dilemma at a time, in order, between courses or drinks.
  3. Each of you gets one pass for the whole round.
  4. Stop early if one dilemma becomes the conversation of the night.

The round starts easy and gets warmer, so it moves from small talk to real talk without either of you having to steer.

Over text

For 2 players

  1. One of you texts a short dilemma.
  2. The other replies with a pick and one sentence of why.
  3. Only then does the sender reveal their own pick.
  4. Send three dilemmas each, then swap who sends.

Holding your pick until they've answered stops copying, and short options fit in a single message on a lock screen.

Video call for long distance

For 2 players

  1. Share your screen or keep this page open on one phone.
  2. The reader says both options, then both of you hold up one finger for the first option or two for the second, at the same time.
  3. Each explains, and the follow-up gets asked if either of you is surprised.
  4. End the call on one dilemma about the next time you'll see each other.

Picking on a count of three keeps it fair over a laggy connection, and it gives a long call something to do besides catch up.

Drinking version, with a no-alcohol option

2 or more, of legal drinking age

  1. Agree on a limit before you start, and use small sips.
  2. If you and your partner pick different sides, both take a sip.
  3. If you pick the same side, you each choose one other player to sip.
  4. No-alcohol option: swap every sip for paying a compliment, or for eating one piece from a shared bowl of candy.

It makes picking different sides the fun part of the round, and the no-alcohol rules keep everyone in the game.

The deal-breaker round

For 2 players

  1. Play a dilemma as normal.
  2. Then each of you rates the side you didn't pick: fine, I'd adjust, or could never.
  3. Any "could never" gets talked about before the next dilemma.
  4. Play six to eight dilemmas from the deal-breakers page.

It shows where each of you is flexible and where you aren't, which is useful to know before it comes up for real.

24 dilemmas

Easy dilemmas to learn the game on

Light picks with no wrong answer. Play these first to get the rhythm.

  1. Would you rather always choose the show we watch

    or always choose your side of the bed

    Talk about itWhich side is yours, and why?

    What it revealsWhich small comfort each of you would hand over more easily.

  2. Would you rather give up our favorite takeout for a month

    or give up our favorite show for a month

    Talk about itWhat would we replace it with?

    What it revealsWhether food or a shared show feels more like your routine together.

  3. Would you rather have a cat that only likes you

    or have a dog that only likes me

    Talk about itWhich of us would the pet really prefer?

    What it revealsWhether each of you is more of a cat or dog person, and how you'd share one.

  4. Would you rather go to a wedding with me where you know no one

    or take me to one where I know no one

    Talk about itHow would you introduce me?

    What it revealsWhether each of you is more comfortable being the outsider or the host.

  5. Would you rather wear matching costumes every Halloween

    or pick each other's costume in secret

    Talk about itWhat would you dress me as?

    What it revealsWhether each of you likes matching as a couple or surprising each other.

  6. Would you rather pack for both of us on every trip

    or plan the route on every trip

    Talk about itWhat's our worst travel moment so far?

    What it revealsWhether each of you is the planner or the packer when you travel.

  7. Would you rather plan every holiday

    or plan both our birthdays

    Talk about itWhich one do you care about more?

    What it revealsWhich kind of celebration each of you cares about more.

  8. Would you rather always get ready together

    or always get ready apart and meet up

    Talk about itWhat's your getting-ready routine like?

    What it revealsWhether each of you likes getting ready together or meeting up already set.

Dilemmas for the prediction round

These are the best for guessing your partner's pick, because the answer isn't obvious until they say it.

  1. Would you rather get a surprise party

    or get a surprise trip

    Talk about itWhat did you think I'd pick for you?

    What it revealsWhether each of you prefers a celebration with people or an escape with each other.

  2. Would you rather remember every one of our dates perfectly

    or remember every one of our inside jokes perfectly

    Talk about itWhich inside joke would you never want to lose?

    What it revealsWhether each of you holds onto big moments or the small funny ones.

  3. Would you rather be famous together

    or be rich together and unknown

    Talk about itWhat would we be famous for?

    What it revealsHow each of you feels about attention compared with comfort.

  4. Would you rather spend a month in a van

    or spend a month in a castle with no wifi

    Talk about itWhat would you miss most?

    What it revealsWhether each of you craves freedom on the road or a cozy, disconnected stay.

  5. Would you rather always be early with me

    or always be late with me

    Talk about itWho's usually the late one, and why?

    What it revealsWhether each of you is an early person or a running-late person at heart.

  6. Would you rather know how every movie we watch ends

    or never guess a twist again

    Talk about itWhich twist got you the most?

    What it revealsWhether each of you enjoys being in the know or being surprised.

  7. Would you rather win a cooking contest as a team

    or win a trivia night as a team

    Talk about itWhich of us carries the team?

    What it revealsWhether each of you thinks your team strength is practical or brainy.

  8. Would you rather have a love song written about us

    or have a movie made about how we met

    Talk about itWho would play us?

    What it revealsWhether each of you sees your love as a song or a story.

Dilemmas for when you want a real talk

Slower ones for the end of a round. Let the follow-up run as long as it needs.

  1. Would you rather always know when I'm upset

    or always know how to make it better

    Talk about itWhat do you wish I noticed sooner?

    What it revealsWhether each of you wants to be noticed or to be helped when things are hard.

  2. Would you rather have more time together

    or have more money together

    Talk about itWhere do we feel the squeeze right now?

    What it revealsWhich feels scarcer to each of you right now: time or money.

  3. Would you rather be completely understood

    or be completely accepted

    Talk about itWhich one feels rarer to you?

    What it revealsWhether each of you needs to be understood or simply accepted more.

  4. Would you rather change one thing about how we argue

    or change one thing about how we make up

    Talk about itWhat would you change?

    What it revealsWhether each of you thinks your arguments or your repairs need more work.

  5. Would you rather hear the moment I felt closest to you

    or hear the moment I felt furthest away

    Talk about itWhen do you think each one was?

    What it revealsWhether each of you wants to hear the warm moment or the hard one.

  6. Would you rather go back to the start of us knowing what you know now

    or keep going with no do-overs

    Talk about itWhat would you do differently?

    What it revealsWhether each of you would want a do-over or values how it all unfolded.

  7. Would you rather have me as your best friend

    or have me as your greatest love

    Talk about itWhich am I closer to right now?

    What it revealsWhether each of you sees the other more as a best friend or as a great love.

  8. Would you rather always say exactly what you feel

    or always say exactly what you need

    Talk about itWhich one is harder for you?

    What it revealsWhether each of you finds feelings or needs harder to put into words.

Questions people ask

How do you play would you rather?

One player reads a question with two options, starting "would you rather". Every player picks one, and each explains why. Then the next player reads. There's no winner in the basic game; the fun is in the reasons. For couples, picking at the same time keeps either of you from copying, and a follow-up question turns a pick into a conversation.

How do you play would you rather with cards?

Shuffle the cards and put them face down. Take turns drawing one, reading both options out loud, and having everyone pick before discussing. Keep the cards you both answered the same way in one pile and the ones you disagreed on in another, and talk through that pile at the end. The printable page has 48 cards you can cut out.

What makes a good would you rather question for couples?

Both options have to be tempting, or both slightly bad, so the choice is hard. If nearly everyone would pick one side, it's not a dilemma. The best ones for couples are about your own life: chores, families, money, dates and the future. A follow-up that asks why, or when, keeps the answer from ending at one word.

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